The Holistic Learning Center

In the spring of 2004, I told Charles at the end of one of his classes that I felt that I had gone about as far as I could go with him. I do not know how I knew this, but I did.
In the span of the six or seven years that I had known him, my relationship with him had progressed to one that transcended the teacher/student, healer/client relationship. We had become friends. The friendship that I feel for this man made this a very difficult thing to convey to him...but he actually almost rejoiced. He made me feel like I was graduating from something. He told me to keep in touch and to let him know anytime I got stuck and needed some guidance.
This made my decision easier. I knew intuitively already that it was the right decision, but the outward confirmation helped.

At first, I felt both a little lost and excited to be completely free to explore any direction I chose. Now the type of class that Charles teaches in no way restricts one's growth, but it does center on certain topics and methods, so to be headed out on my own once again was a little daunting at first.
I decided at one point that I wanted to write about everything I had learned and actually started a book titled, "Peeling the Onion: A Layman's Guide to Spiritual Development."

But after what would be about 100 pages, I hit a stopping point. I knew that as much as I had made improvements in my life, I still had not really discovered the root cause of the problem that provided the catalyst to send me down this path in the first place. I had not found the problem that caused me to just wake up one morning with a blood clot.
I had to reluctantly admit that I just didn't have enough answers to write the book. I didn't believe anyone would buy something where the author was still struggling with his initial problem.
I mean would you buy a book on fitness if the guy on the front cover looked 50 lbs overweight? Or buy a book on success from someone living out of their car?

I believed that in order to write about having successfully achieved something, I had to first have achieved it.
I saved the book because I knew I would finish it someday. I just didn't have enough information at that time to do so. Some of that material is included in what I am writing now, but the information I found out after I stopped writing took me in a completely different direction.

So, I prayed and asked God what was the next step? Where do I go now?

I looked into colleges such as the Clayton College of Natural Health. And while the idea of being a herbalist or nutritionist appealed to me with everything I had already learned about herbal supplements and nutrition...and because I do share that with others anyway...it just didn't resonate with me. It didn't FEEL like that was what I was supposed to be doing.
I talked to people and prayed some more and then I took a vacation to go see some land my father left me out in New Mexico.
I had spent several months probating his will and buying the adjoining lot from my aunt and uncle...all sight unseen for me. So, it was time to go out and take a look at what I had.

Have you ever had new ideas or epiphanies come to you once you get away from a problem? Now I won't say that what I had was exactly an epiphany...but after a few days up in the mountains doing nothing but dreaming of the cabin I wanted to build, my drive back provided an idea.
It was nothing earth shattering...just a small thought to change the wording on my internet searches from "holistic colleges" to "spiritual counseling." I hadn't thought about this before because I was not seeking counseling for me. I was seeking to learn how to help others.

After returning home, I ran the new search and found a website called "Holistic Learning Center." It sounded interesting because it had courses and certification programs to become a counselor to help others. There was one catch though. In order to help others, I would have to go through the program myself.
The mission is to "heal the world one soul at a time...starting with my own."

I was open minded and ordered the introductory course. I read the first couple of chapters in the textbook but the vast majority of it was not new to me. By this time, I had been studying spiritual and self-help books for 15 years!
But there was more to the introduction than just the book. There were tapes...that I did not listen to and there was to be a tele-class. I seem to remember rescheduling that class 2 or 3 times.
I know now that I was avoiding it...and I know why...but I didn't know it then. I have learned that the mind can be very deceiving. It can come up with a million reasons not to do something...not to face a problem...not to grow...not to talk to someone when there is an issue to be resolved...multitudes of reasons for every situation. And back then, I listened to all of that as my primary guidance system.
But one day, I did actually have nothing to do on a Saturday morning...and for one reason or another, I wasn't hung over from the night before. So, I did keep my appointment.
I was scheduled to have my appointment with the founder of this organization, Joseph Hu Dalconzo...or Hu as he likes to be called.
Hu asked me if I'd read the textbook. I was a little defensive and told him that I had read the first few chapters and quite frankly didn't find anything new. (My mind told me that I had paid for something and I was justified to be defensive because I had not received my money's worth.)

Then he asked me a question I will never forget. Hu said, "Ok, so you understand what it's taken us 25 years of clinical research to assemble?"
Ok, that waa a pretty good response and he had me. "N-n-no." I stammered.
He asked if I'd read the entire book and once again he had me. But, unwilling to give up my position, I told him I just didn't feel there was anything new for me there.

So, he asked, "So, then how can I help you?"

This was again not what I had expected. I was geared up for a spiritual debate about what "I" knew and had studied. I thought carefully about my answer, took a deep breath and said, "I don't know. I'm here. I don't know why I'm here, but I am."

Hu asked me if he could ask me some questions. He wanted to present different areas of life experiences to me and asked if I would tell him if I had now or had ever had any emotional pain associated with these topics.
I believe the list was 75 areas...and by the time he finished, I did know I was in the right place. I never knew I had pain attached to so many different things. But there was something about the unconditional love, understanding and acceptance that I sensed in this man that helped me to open up and really feel the pain I had attached to areas such as "divorce, abandonment, death" and so many others. I knew somehow that he could help me unearth the how's and why's of this pain and to help me begin to heal it.

He did have a warning for me. He told me that the course I was about to embark on would be the most difficult course of my life. He was right.