An Act of Love

Have you read the news today?

If so, you likely have seen a headline about some celebrity acting out. It is a good reminder to all of us that money doesn't necessarily solve our problems and fame simply amplifies them.

It's part of what I like about being a writer and a counselor. If I go into a grocery store, no one looks at me and says "Hey, aren't you the guy who...?"

I don't envy that guy....or that girl.

I read somewhere recently that every act we undertake is either "an act of love or a crying out for love."

In looking at these celebrities and the havoc they are creating in their lives, what I see is a "crying out for love."

I saw one story today in which the celebrity had obviously done some deep inner work because she realized that her problems in her life now were related to how she felt as a child.
This is an important realization for her and I hope that she finds the right method to help her heal those beliefs that are causing her to relive that pain over and over again.

These people live out their pain for all of the world to see. It is unfortunate that because they are in the public eye that their less than perfect behavior is photographed and written about because this amplifies their pain and embarrassment that they either direct inwards on themselves or the fear and anger that they project outwards on the people in their world.

And yet, they are no different from us. We do the very same things in our own lives.

We all carry unconscious beliefs that we developed in our childhoods. Through the filter of our personality, we looked out at the world we found ourselves in when we were children and decided which areas of the world were safe for us.
This wasn't necessarily a conscious decision. It was a reaction to whatever situations we found ourselves in.
The ego mind was our protective mechanism. The mind devised a defense for any areas in which we did not feel safe. Depending on the base personality we were born with and through what we found worked and did not work through trial and error, we developed coping mechanisms.

So we might have developed mechanisms that would repress, deny or minimize the abuse that was happening...or we may have developed behavioral patterns in which we acted outwards.

Much of this depends on what worked for us...what brought attention to us. For some of us, if we projected anger outwards, we were given attention to calm our anger...thus giving us the emotional nurturing we were unconsciously seeking.

For others of us, we found that projecting anger outwards brought a swift physical or other more powerful angry reaction. We learned that it was not safe to protect our boundaries by expressing ourselves and having no other choice, we turned our dissatisfaction inwards on ourselves.

It has become common practice to just blame our parents for our problems and how our problems have manifested in our lives. But our parents could only give us what they knew how to give. And their parents could only give them what they knew.

As long as we hold anger inside for what was or was not done to us...or for us...we continue to attract experiences that match the vibration of anger or fear or pain into our lives.

Forgiveness changes that. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened to us was okay. It simply means that we no longer choose to hold on to the feelings of hurt, anger, fear, disappointment, frustration, sadness, etc.

As a society and actually as a human race, we are constantly evolving. The "problems" that we believe we have that are unique to our family really aren't that different from any other family in the world. The names and places may be different, but the way we felt when things happened were the same.

We have prisons overflowing with people that have had difficult lives. Now I'm not saying we should just open the doors and let them out...but at some point if we want our world to improve, we have to do something different.
If they get out only to commit another crime so they can go back in, what that tells me is that this is the only place they feel safe. How do we help our fellow human beings feel safe enough to live among us?

We have one war after another and we feel like the only way for us to BE safe is to be on the offensive...and yet like every other area of our lives where we have tried this, we are finding this does not work.

Fear only brings more fear to us.

So the only answer that does work is to Love.

Look out at your world. What area of your life could be improved if you simply told yourself it was safe to love?

If we first loved ourselves more, we would find that many of our biggest problems were caused by unconscious beliefs we have carried in which we believed we simply didn't deserve more than we have been creating.

This might lead to us looking out at our world and instead of us seeing situations and believing that this person "deserved what they got," we would start to see them with more love and compassion. We would start to understand why these people are having the experiences they are having...because we would be able to see ourselves in them.
We would see that this person attracted experiences to his or her self that matched whatever feeling they carried inside of them.

If they attracted experiences in which people punish them, then on some level they likely believe they deserve that punishment anyway.
if they attract experiences that cause them embarrassment, then on some level they likely believe they are inadequate.
If they attract experiences that cause them to feel guilty, then on some level they likely already feel ashamed.

We must find love, understanding and compassion for ourselves and others. We have to reach out to others instead of simply judging them and let them know how much they are loved.

It might lead to us finding that it is actually easier to create more peace in our relationships, communities, government and even foreign relations than we have imagined.

We might realize that it has been our fearful view of the world first created by fearing the world we grew up in....that has continued to perpetuate itself throughout our lives.

If we learn to Love ourselves and others, we might find that others crave this love just as much as we do. We might find that the love we send out comes back to us amplified...just as surely as we are finding that the fear and anger we send out into the world comes back to us amplified.

We might find that we can really create a "heaven on earth" for everyone. It won't work if only a few get to enjoy it. We have to work together to create equality and opportunity for everyone.

Look inwards at yourself. In what areas of your life are you willing to receive more Love?

Look outwards at your world. In what areas can you give more Love?

It all starts with an Act of Love.